Someone to talk to....

Interesting to note my complete and utter lack of excitement for the weekend, being Friday and all, but these last couple of days have left me in a kind of funk. It's a strange feeling, blank and apathetic. I'd like to think that the real cause is my exhaustion from work and school, but I don't have it that bad. I'm just tired of people lying to me for months and excusing themselves with, "I have my reasons." I'm tired of being screwed out of my money. I'm tired of having no friends. I'm tired of my job. I'm tired of the loneliness that threatens to rise up and choke me whenever I go onto FB and see everyone else making plans with their friends for the weekend, while I have to sit home alone for two days.

I mostly feel like kicking myself when these thoughts pass through my head. I have a wonderful husband, my best friend, who takes care of me, but I miss hanging out with girl friends. It'd be so much easier to make friends if I drank, not that I wanna change now. Alcohol smells awful and tastes worse, and one sip gives me a massive headache, so no thanks, but because I don't drink, I'm immediately treated like I cannot handle some people I know who enjoy drinking. They clam up around me when talking about their parties as if I were going to condemn them for drinking. My favorite is when they try and badger me about my choice not to. Why is it so important that I drink? It's like asking, "Why do you like vanilla more than chocolate?" It was so easy to make friends in school. One just needed to ask, "Wanna be friends?" and that was that. Inseparable ever after. It's interesting how fast everyone disappeared as soon as I got married. Apparently NOW I have cooties. Pfft.

Some guy is coming to take the cats tonight and I'm trying not to think to hard about it. I love Sesmu and Bagheera and I'm going to miss the brats. But not the cat boxes. I got to come home last night to the contents of the downstairs cat box strewn over my landing and covering the bathroom floor, but the idiots still went to the bathroom in the now empty-of-litter catbox, so that smell was pleasant. With so many things goin' to crap right now, being a prisoner in my own home is obnoxious. I want to be able to leave doors open and not worry about the cats getting into the rooms and tearing things up or pooping/peeing/puking all over the place. I want the smell out of my house. Ug, but I'm sad that the boys are leaving.

Tomorrow I will read this and laugh, since I'm probably suffering from "pre-woman woes" or something. Blogs are funny. It's like running around and shoving your journal under people's noses and begging them to read it. I don't care that no one reads my blogs. It's purpose is for me to ramble and feel better, so thank you blog. My only friend. :)

2010 thus far . . . .

Today heralds the second week of forced-carpooling with Evan since the oil pump in our Passat blew last week. My dad researched how to do it, so all set with mailed-in car parts, dad and Evan set off yesterday to get the car fixed. Unfortunately, turns out that to get to the oil pump and replace everything, you have to take a lot of stuff out, including lifting the engine which my dad lacks the tools (or should I say, LIFT thingamabob) to do. Talk about hopes dashed on not having to take it into a shop. We are hoping my sister's VW repair man can help us out for a few pennies instead of a pretty one. Thank goodness my truck is running perfectly (*knock on wood).

I started my second(?) to last semester this past week. I am taking World Religions (UGH) and a political science class online and COM100 and Choir on Monday and Tuesday nights. After this semester I should maybe have an elective left to do this summer and I will be set. I wish I could take another class this semester, but HOLY EXPENSIVE, BATMAN! For my four classes, I am paying eight hundred bucks, and with tax time and Evan's school payments looming ever nearer, I did not think it would be a good idea to break the budget. Oy.

Evan and I decided that it was time to attempt to find a new home for the cats. They chew up EVERYTHING, poop EVERYWHERE, and tear up my new carpet. I don't have a lot of say in the matter since Evan is the one in charge of cleaning the terror-inspiring catboxes and the messes EVERY night since I have to stay away from it due to my asthma and allergies, not to mention my newly developed gag reflex (and I always thought I was pretty hard stomach-ed). We're so busy and short of time every night that it is putting a lot of stress on Evan. I love them so much though! They are so cute and sweet, but I am going along with Evan in this. We already specified that we want the cats to go together in the ad on craigslist since it will help them adapt better to a different house, but I still feel pretty badly. Hopefully we can find a good home for them soon.

My goals for this month are: 1) Keep A's in all my classes (which should be easy), 2) Lose 20 pounds (I've already lost ten! *happy dance*), and 3) have a car to drive to Disneyland in a couple weeks for my birthday.

Christmas 2009

I had to fix the tree because the cats like to play Jungle Kitty and knock it all down.

Molly looked so cute by the tree that I just had to hug her!

Evan loves his new leather jacket I got him. :D

Molly liked the Christmas kitty treats. Lol.

Molly was helping me open my presents

They are piggies!

Family photo!

Evan is so cutey in his jacket. :)

Mom and Dad's tree

Pettin Abby while we wait for the others to wake up.

Abby likes to lick Mom's feet. Lol.

Dad opening the first present.

Mom is so cute.

Stacey and Mark arrive just in time to open their presents.


And since Evan's camera likes to be evil, this is basically it for Christmas pictures. Next year I am going to get a camera that works. :)

January Madness

New year, new changes. For the better methinks. My mother recently found that she has a high chance of heart attack/stroke and has to redo her entire diet. I was pretty freaked out (of course) and decided that I needed to help her stick with her new restrictions and so I became her weight-loss buddy. I am her diet nazi and she is mine. Now is the time that my metabolism is the highest it will ever be and once I reach the point where I want to start a family, I want to be a healthy incubator for my kid-lets. I hesitate to say New Year's Resolution since I started the diet a week before Christmas, but my goal for this year is to get healthy. I weighed in the first day at 211 a couple weeks ago, and this week I reached the robust weight of 205 GO ME. So hopefully the numbers keep falling for both Mommy and me. If there is something to blog about, I figure keeping a record on here will keep me motivated. My first weight goal is 180, at which time I will do a HIP HIP HOORAY posting on here (aren't you all so excited??). There's a "magic" mirror at the weigh-in place that shows you how you will look twenty pounds lighter, and lets just say I'm going to look pretty damn sexy. ;) Lol. JK. My doc says that 150lb should be where I stop unless I feel I should lose a little more. Since I am big-boned and tall, I doubt I will be able to get below that number and stay healthy. Lol.

Hopefully in all this I achieve my most important goal of reversing my asthma. It kicks my butt in the winter time, let me tell you, and I miss being able to run around like I used to. Ever since I changed from Flovent to Advair (maintenance drugs) my asthma attacks are fewer, yes, but more severe. I don't know if any of you have ever tried to breathe through a straw? It's very uncomfortable to say the least. This past month I have had to use my nebulizer more than once since my emergency inhalers have failed to stop the attacks, so that's a little scary.

Here's to motivation and everything this new year brings. Happy New Year's!

December Musings

I am getting to the point where I do not like Christmas. I hate the WAAAAAY overplayed music, everyone getting sick, trying to go grocery shopping and getting elbowed and kicked every which way cuz too many people are at the store, and don't get me started on shopping for gifts. Obnoxious! Because you gotta figure out what to get people and then you remember, "Oh well if I spend 20 bucks on everyone, I will be out a thousand bucks." Oops! Everything I want to get for people is like $300+ and it's like, they'll just have to settle for a crappy gift this year.... Secular Christmas as an adult sucks. You don't get to just count the days til THE day, you gotta figure out what to buy, how to afford it, how to hide the presents, wrap the suckers, buy a tree to put 'em under, and then feel bad that you couldn't afford to get everyone a little something. Christmas's value has basically de-evolved to being completely based off of the fact that a full-time employee can have a day off from work, so thank goodness I get to celebrate the best Gift of all or I would go a bit nuts. I guess what I really want this year is for Obama to be impeached from office, lower taxes, the good health of my family and friends, and a car with under 90,000 miles on it as opposed to almost 150,000. Oh, and to not get flipped off every morning on the way to work for only going 72mph on the freeway.

Merry Christmas everyone. ;)

Growing Family

I always thought that I wouldn't want to get anymore pets beside Molly. The hair from her alone was everywhere as it was. Lol. But we found ourselves in our new home with an EXTREMELY lonely pup. That's when we decided to get the boys. Sesmu and Bagheera are both attention nuts, thus the need to lock them out of our room at night. They both enjoy sleeping on faces and clawing those who dare to ignore them. Evil little cusses, but I love them. Lol. Having three animals in the house seemed more than enough pets, not to mention the pain of having a cat box (the main reason I never wanted any cats!!). Molly has been a lot better since they came. I no longer come home to a crying dog or anything in the house trashed beyond recognition. She now spends her day happily bullying the two cats and chasing/racing them up and down the stairs. Bagheera just takes the unannounced baths via Molly's tongue, but Sesmu likes to bat at Molly and join in on the races. **In case you're wondering why the cats have bizarre names, when I was reading up on Egyptian mythology, I found out that
Sesmu is the Egyptian demonic god who works for Anubis in the underworld, affectionately known as the "Slaughter of Souls." Lol. I couldn't resist, so I named him that. And everyone knows Bagheera is from The Jungle Book.**

My aunt's friend recently rescued a little one-year old German Shepherd and could not keep her, so my parents took her in for a few days. Poor Abby arrived newly spaded and "sicker than a dog." She is on antibiotics for her respiratory infection and drops for her ear infection, but it's nice to see her gain more energy every day and not cough so much. Not much is known about her history. She is not house trained AT all, does not know simple commands like "Sit" or "Down", and steals socks, shoes, shirts, etc. for a little chew time, so the popular belief is that she has been out on her own for awhile. Amazingly enough, she has the sweetest personality and, if allowed, would sleep at anyone's feet right on the bed. She drinks like an elephant and enjoys flipping the food bowl. Last night we found out about her fear of stairs. She could go up as long as someone was with her, but going down the stairs proved to be a problem.

Since Mom and Dad DEFINITELY do not need anymore pets, Evan and I offered to take her. Molly is going to get a little of her own medicine since Abby is quite talented at "leaning." It's going to be a pain in the butt potty training another puppy, but hopefully it will be worth it since Abby is pretty cute. Oh, my poor white carpets..... Goodbye. *Sigh.

**Update on Abby: Abby decided that she did want to live with Mom and Dad afterall, and while Dad is not thrilled, she is excited to be there and so am I. Lol.

Ahh, Tuesday...

This past week Evan and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary. We meant to just celebrate the one night, so we decided to go out to Buca di Beppos with my family over the weekend before our actual anniversary. It was a ton of fun and Evan bought me a Kindle2!! The goober totally went over our agreed budget for gifts. Lol. I bought him a watch to replace the one that broke and he was just as excited.


On Monday, Evan and I still went to work. While I had PTO available to take off the day if I so chose, Evan's still new to his company and doesn't accrue PTO until March '10. I figured it would be a normal day in the neighborhood, but as soon as I got to work, it all went downhill. By the time I got home, I was fighting tears, which is definitely NOT normal since I can usually handle whatever work throws my way. But Evan told me over the phone to at least wait for him to get home before I did any leaking. Lol. I was lying on the couch with my migraine when he finally burst through the door, got down on one knee brandishing a dozen red roses, a bottle of sparkling apple cider, and a card. His expression was so cute that I couldn't help crying. Sounds so funny. I immediately felt better of course and we had a great night together feasting on take out Applebees and my friend who made my wedding cake made us a mini version for us for that night too!

And if that wasn't enough we went to Disneyland this weekend too. Lol. It was a lot of fun just to get away for a weekend since my work week turned into a complete nightmare. What's funny is that me and Evan only went on maybe a handful of rides. If we didn't feel like waiting in lines, we just went and sat in the middle of the park enjoying the weather and ambiance.

My overall point of all this is mostly to say that a year ago this month, I married my best friend who showed me how easy it is to love. He was the answer to my prayers and SOOO much better than the man of my dreams. He's all that I want and more than I deserve. :) Here's to the next 70 years and beyond! (I like aiming high! Lol.)